"All the animals are treated humanely and respectfully and you can taste in the end product."

 A lifestyle piece came on the Alexa unit in my kitchen showing a bunch of manly men in a Boston kitchen. Manly man A, whom I will call "Vinnie", was bragging to the others:

"All the animals are treated humanely and respectfully and you can taste that in the end product. It really makes a difference."

Manly Man B and C, Tommy and Tony, nodded as if they were learning some great wisdom.

I stared at Alexa.

I was triggered by it and slapped the thing off.

So, let me get this straight.

You are RESPECTFUL to the animal before you kill it, chop it into pieces, and cook it? How does that work exactly?

Well, let's look at the dictionary definition of "respect."

Respect is defined as:

Is Vinnie "honoring" the cow?

Admiring it?

Holding it in high esteem?

Giving it courteous regard?

Playing nice with it?

I'll concede he may be sharing it with others.

Did he tell the cow "Please, thank you, and you're welcome?"

And... oh dear... did he not "hurt" the cow? Mmmm-- if you were to ask the cow about the final moments of its life I believe he would say: "Moooo-- that hurt very much."

But, again, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. So, on to the next question, how was the cow slaughtered. It seems inhumane to keep calling it just "cow."

According to Alexa, the most common name for a cow is either "Moo Moo," "Candy," "Cupcake" or "Cowboy."  I like Cupcake.

So, let's get back to how was Cupcake "humanely" slaughtered?

Maybe there is a nicer word than slaughtered?

Alexa suggested: "Disaster, mess, or cataclysm." Uh... okay.

So, how did Cupcake meet their... eh... cataclysm?

But, surely that doesn't hurt? Vinnie said it was humane and you can taste it in the end product. 

This is from a document entitled: "Captive Bolt Stunning of Livestock." Apparently, the technology has been around since 1922. Wow. That's a one-hundred-year-old technology. Surely that makes it good, right? Let's find out more about how it works...

Wait-- there can be equipment failure or operator error? That can't be right. Vinnie promised this is a humane process. It wouldn't taste right otherwise. I mean, I'd be able to taste it if it came from an unhappy cow, you know.

Well, that does sound relaxing as the animals are moved along the "Restrainer-Conveyer" with the heads on the restraint shelf ever so happily awaiting their stun bolt of death. What could be stressful about ending your life in such a manner? I should not have doubted Vinnie.

Whoa... whoa... whoa... but what's this about requiring "multiple stun bolts?" That... that... can't be right...

A second shot? And, a third shot? Wouldn't that be like shooting someone in the brain multiple times? Uh yes, I guess it would be EXACTLY like that...

Oh well, I'm sure Cupcake didn't mind. Oh, no pun intended.

Sorry, Cupcake, Vinnie assures us we can "taste it [what again?] in the end product."

Oh yes, how humanely you were treated.

You're welcome.

(I don't even want to know about the "Bleeding" and "Pithing" part. I've done enough Google searches on "where meat comes from" for one day.)

#plantbased #veganlife #wheremeatcomsfrom